this is where I leave you


Some pains you feel on a physical level. There are others that radiate seemingly from the very core of your being.

It is not an easy thing to love. It isn’t even easy to be loved. And sometimes between both you find yourself torn. I never stayed because I was afraid of ending up with nothing, I never stayed because we had just met and I was caught up in the ideal of you, and I never stayed because I was hoping for you to change.

You are not easy to love. But that is why I stayed..because even when it was hard, I loved you. I stayed because you are not a holiday to me, I stayed because I have seen you in every state of mind and being, I have been there in your darkest hour and known your illest thought, and I stayed because I know what we are like without each other and even more so, who we are when we’re together.

What you won’t face now, I know you will eventually because there is a difference between the things that are for a time and those that are forever. In life, it is very easy “to please the fleeting quest”, they know only what you tell them and as long as what they want to see is on the surface, they’ll never look any deeper. And not only do you convince them that all is well, you also convince yourself.

Love is not lip service. It must be heard and seen and felt and touched. It is an experience of sacrifice, time and devotion; sustained not by the big gestures but the everyday, ordinary, little things. I know that you love me, but I need more than words. You keep coming back and yet you do not stay. So it’s time for me to go.

To break my heart will always be to break your own.

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