for the good days: fit and fighting

Recently, I’ve found myself stumped. I wasn’t writing as I used to and I wasn’t crying everyday. I actually had a post about this several months ago. In my despair, I was churning out 6 poems a day and now, I actually have to be zen enough to find the words. It’s weird, because I don’t miss the blubbering mess I once was but she had a lot to say.

You couldn’t pay me enough to go through it again because where I am now is where that girl wanted to be. And I need to honour her. I need to keep going so that her vision can be realized and she can have a better present and the best future possible. So even when things are good, even when they’re better, I need to be proactive and no longer reactive. I need to be fueled now by the desires of where I want to go rather than the disasters of where I’ve been.

A friend of mine made me realize that very often when we are comfortable, we stop trying. But to stop trying means that in short order, we will no longer be comfortable, we will be reaping the consequences of getting lazy. Thus, here’s to not being comfortable, here’s to still fighting, to finding new sources of inspiration and to most of all keep going even when the journey isn’t so much of a struggle any more. Because life is deceptive, and there will always be something around the corner to trip you up. And if it meets you performing at any less than your optimum, then you become easy pickings. 

You cannot go 12 rounds with cancer and beat its sorry ass, to then become complacent while crossing the street. Constant vigilance is key. Life is booby-trapped to the hilt and yet still it can give you butterflies. Take the time to cry, take the time to fight and then take the time to laugh, take the time to savour. But always, always remember the strength you gained through the struggle and keep those fighting muscles strong.

I’m learning that life is what happens when you start living. And most times it is when you stop checking for something that it happens. I can write now because even the good of times can be documented and become the catalyst for inspiration. This is the link to a blog which inspired me today. Whether or not you can relate, she’s doing a good thing and it is motivating. I have had this dress in my closet for two’s about to see daylight or rather, candlelight.


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