“Here in this moment we are infinite.”
And in every single breathable, heartbeating moment of awareness we are alive. So what is another year’s end but just one such moment? A moment that I think matters in only so much as it is the total sum of moments, a collection of time remembered and reminisced.
I started writing again almost 365 days ago (how many moments is that?) and honestly, I had no fucking clue what I was doing. I just knew that I needed an outlet. And somehow this lifeline appeared in my sea of desolation (yes I can be quite melancholic but let me not digress!) and it just felt like peace. I had been through much in a short time, and more was to follow. I remember the day that I wrote my resolution and it reminds me of just why it’s good to make a record of things. Life goes by so quickly, even the conscious moments at times are forgotten. And quite often they are the moments we need the very most.
It’s funny because I didn’t even want to do my journey. I wanted to go from point A to Z and just be done with it. But even then I knew that to be crazy. The steps are necessary. And although there is a start and a finish the rest has no certain order. It just has to be lived. And what you begin learning on the way and realize by the end is that the destination you were aiming for, is just a pit-stop; a place to regroup and reassess and then just to keep going from. The journey is every breathable moment, every bit of infinite consciousness. It goes on and continues, never ending til we do.
Now some of the things I wrote, really didn’t need to be written however the Ginny of that time felt that they must and I cannot begrudge her what she needed then for her healing. Some of the poetry was bad and quite corny and I even thought at first that I wouldn’t ever be able to write a full post. But it’s all there; the good and the bad and I can edit myself now because of it. There are too, the stories that I do not regret that were a long time coming like “Our Story”, little rambling gems like “What Makes It Worth It” and then there are the moments of pain . There are the times spent with loved ones and the times I ran away. And quite frankly there should be an accompanying playlist for all of this shouldn’t there?
So here ya go..my 2015 playlist was as follows:
Coldplay – (Everything)
Florence and the Machine – Ceremonials (Album)
Britt Nicole – The Sun Is Rising (Song)
Adele – 19, 21, 25 (Albums)
James Bay – Let It Go (Song)
John Mayer – (Everything)
Philip Philips – Gone, Gone, Gone (Song)
Walk The Moon – Shut Up & Dance (Song)
Sia – Elastic Heart (Song)
Regina Spektor – Soviet Kitsch, Begin to Hope (Albums)
Sara Bareilles – (Everything)
Tamela Mann – Take me to the King (Song)
There is still quite a bit left and one more day withstanding but some things are better mulled over and kept close to the heart.
For the year nearly gone, celebrate the blessing of your position. It is the place from which you will launch into what awaits. It’s just one year but break it down and remember it’s parts. Remember the moments made, shared, captured and felt in which you were alive and conscious and only your beating heart told the time. That was your journey. Keep it infinite.