I think the general idea of being body positive is feeling good in whatever body one has. It’s not limited to any one type of body because there is no one type of body and there is no target weight or size. It’s an interesting concept that we can be okay with ourselves as is, regarding our bodies and not regardless of them. I think it’s very much still a concept though and not even fully what we should be focusing on.
This is why…
I can tell myself that I am happy with my body but I know I’m also telling myself that there are things I want to work on. And that’s just personally how I feel about myself. I think we run into issues with body positivity, though as with all such causes, because it’s essentially telling people how to think not just about themselves but about how they should see others. There are people, predominantly women every day in the media and on social media who maintain the ideal of body positivity. And then there are the masses who either support them or don’t. There are forms of contention over what is healthy and who is too big or not even curvy. There is contention over what it will take to see different bodies as just beautiful.
There’s a popular beauty blogger and social media model who talks about being happy with her body and with her size. However, she has revealed that she has had laser lipo surgery to eliminate her double chin and that for a few years she even wore a lap band, which creates a smaller stomach, to help her with portion control. And I was confused. Because I couldn’t understand why she would do all of that if she was in fact, body positive. But, as I’ve come to realize, being body positive doesn’t mean you don’t have things about yourself that you would like to change. And that also, it’s really a personal thing. Something I think we need to realize, in looking to someone else to supposedly champion our cause, is that it is still a rather personal fight you face because no one, no one else has your body. No one else knows it’s weight and size and dimensions as you do. And we all have to find a way that we can live, change what we want or don’t and be happy on this earth. So, an issue like body positivity has to be explored for one’s self. Because, you can look up to Tess Holliday or Ashley Graham or Chanel Ambrose but you also have to find that positivity for you.
I remember being 150 pounds and feeling so clumsy and alien in my body. I remember being much heavier and still not liking the way that I looked or felt. And in many ways, I didn’t love my body but it was a body that I was only just beginning to know. Today, I fluctuate between 200 and 210 pounds, and my feelings towards my body are much nicer. It makes me realize that being body positive is rather just a state of mind. And for me and probably many others, it means too that I can be happy as I am while still thinking of how I can be better. And though, that notion can be confusing, it is the epitomy of who we are as human beings.
So I’m not writing to discourage body positivity. It is a personal journey which can be bolstered by those who have a platform in the media. And it is a concept, which can only be realized when we think of ourselves as more than just bodies. I am now not at my heaviest or my lightest but I love my body, because I love myself. I am body positive because I am soul positive. I had to grow (and I am still growing), and become more in sync with who I was as a person and things like how I felt about my body came from there. I realize though that many people are feeling better about themselves because of how they feel about their bodies, and that to me is putting the horse before the cart, so to speak. It’s like saying I have a nice body so I feel good, which also says, if my body isn’t nice then I won’t feel good. And self worth based on body worth is kind of a fickle thing to me.
So, how about we work on liking ourselves first? How about we figure out who we are, and what we want to do in this world and what impact we will make? Because in doing so, we will be nurturing a healthier internal habit that in turn helps us to see externally in a much better light. Simply put, if you like yourself, if you have a positive outlook on life, if you are in love with the essence of all that exists within you, then what you look like will be a part of that too. I believe our positivity has to come from within. Because the numbers on a scale will go up and down, we will have a little more belly or a little less butt but who we are with ourselves and with others will not change. We need to remember that we are members of a grand celestial design to which the weight of our souls and not our bodies matters a whole lot. And that is what I think we should be positive about.